Michèle Heffron says it’s important for women to be thoughtful and deliberate while navigating change.
After a successful career that included executive stints in both the construction and nonprofit industries, Michèle Heffron left the corporate world to become a stay-at-home mom.
Then, 16 years ago, she found herself in the midst of a second divorce. She didn’t have a bank account or credit card in her name. She had nowhere to turn and moved in with a friend.
“I had no idea what I was going to do with my life,” Heffron recalls. “I didn’t learn until later that I had been in a very emotionally and financially abusive relationship. It floored me.”
Today, Heffron is a life strategist who guides women through transformation and divorce through her coaching work and Getting to the Heart podcast. She recently appeared at a Formidable event called “Don’t Retire — ReWire,” aimed at helping professional women navigate the future.
For Heffron, that quest began with identify. She had wrapped hers around being a wife and mother.
The transition took time. She had to learn to let go, to give up control, to let the universe guide her. It was among the most difficult things for her to learn.
“I know that sounds a little ‘woo-woo,’” she admits, “but the other way wasn’t working so well, either. I had to just set about reinventing my life, and so I just sort of let things unfold.”
Heffron often uses the acronym FOG in her work. It means “Fear, Obligation, Guilt” and was coined by psychotherapist Dr. Susan Forward in her book Emotional Blackmail. At its core, it refers to individuals who strive to gain control through emotional manipulation.
It’s important, she notes, to go beyond the surface and diagnose what’s really happening deep down. Again, that’s a process that takes work and carries little immediate gratification.
“You didn’t understand that you were being invisible in your marriage, but when you really start to look back on it, you can see where you were acquiescing or taking a step back to keep the peace, or whatever it was,” she says. “Even the fear of losing that identity of being a corporate executive who can have a voice in the room…you start to question your own value, and the truth is that our value does not come from that role.”
Heffron launched her weekly podcast in late 2023. She focuses on divorce but also delves into topics including perimenopause, career changes and philanthropy.
She’s upfront with clients that her program isn’t a step-by-step process. It is, she notes, a way to “loosen the stranglehold” on belief systems people apply to themselves.
Sixteen years later, she says she still learns things about herself every day.
“I held on to old belief systems of the past. That was a really hard thing for me to let go of,” she says. “Whose values are you living with right now? Are they yours or somebody else’s? Part of the work is getting down to what you really want in your life.”
Tomorrow: An interview with Karen Rae, creator of the Being Brave Tour magazine and podcast powered by Fave Lifestyles. Rae focuses on creating meaningful experiences that inspire connection, visibility and courageous conversations for women, one brave step at a time.
