Amy Gallo urges leaders to seek to understand before reacting.
What you probably already know: Only half of American workers say they’re truly satisfied with their jobs. Gallup reports that workplace engagement has sunk to a decade-low 31%. And 90% of Americans admit they have at least one coworker who gets under their skin. Conflict is normal, but it doesn’t have to be corrosive. Amy Gallo, a workplace expert and contributing editor at Harvard Business Review, is the author of Getting Along: Even With Difficult People, in which she outlines her “Eight Archetypes of Difficult People.” They are:
• The insecure boss.
• The pessimist.
• The victim.
• The passive aggressive.
• The know-it-all.
• The tormentor.
• The biased co-worker.
• The political operator.
Why it matters: Gallo urges leaders to cultivate positive team dynamics and promote psychological safety by truly embracing different perspectives. This can be especially powerful for women leaders, who are often conditioned to accommodate or fix things without examining their own habits, conflict styles, fear responses or learned reactions. “Ask yourself about the behavior,” Gallo says. “What might explain it? What role am I playing? What tactics can I try?” While no one needs to lock themselves into one of Gallo’s archetypes — they are “diagnostic tools” designed to spark introspection — becoming more self-aware of relational patterns leads to prevention or interruption instead of reaction.
What it means: Women leaders who see relational skills as a strategic asset rather than emotional labor unlock an advantage that teams desperately need. This mindset reframes difficult relationships as opportunities to model courageous conversations and sets boundaries that empower others. It’s less about trying to fix and more about understanding. Gallo, in a recent appearance at the University of Washington, encouraged the audience to ask, “Why would a rational person behave in this way?” The archetypes women face may also be intensified by gender bias. A “political operator” may assume a woman won’t push back. An “insecure boss” may feel threatened by her competence. Understanding intersectionality — including race, ethnicity and language — may help leaders choose tactics that both protect their authority and foster a healthier team. That may include setting firm boundaries, naming bias when it appears or “experimenting to find what works.” The goal is to work through the barrier with integrity and cultivate “interpersonal resilience.”
What happens next: Rather than allowing difficult relationships to drain energy, leaders can control them so they define impact. When handled thoughtfully, these moments shape workplace culture, signaling what will and won’t be tolerated, how people will be treated and what accountability looks like. Women leaders can transform these moments into catalysts. Gallo, a self-described “recovering know-it-all” now redirects negativity into curiosity, channels resistance into dialogue and reframes pessimism as problem-solving. Over time, this behavior becomes part of a leader’s legacy — not just how she performed, but how she empowered others and made them feel safe, respected, and clear on positive team dynamics.
