What you probably already know: You know the old stereotype. Women sit around and stab others in the back, dishing about everything from fashion to hairstyles to relationship drama. Don’t believe a word of it. Gossiping can be healthy, especially in romance. A study from the University of California Riverside, “Spill the Tea, Honey: Gossiping Predicts Well-Being in Same- and Different-Gender Couples” found that gossip leads to greater happiness and better relationships. The study analyzed 76 Southern California couples recruited via flyers distributed in public places and found that they spent about 38 minutes a day gossiping, with 29 minutes spent gossiping with their romantic partners. Interestingly, woman-woman couples spent the most time engaging in gossip.
Why it matters: “Whether or not we want to admit it, everyone gossips,” says Chandler Spahr, lead author of the study, which UC Riverside calls the first to examine gossip dynamics within romantic partnerships. “Gossip is ubiquitous.” It may also be a form of emotional bonding, with the study noting that “it may indicate romantic partners’ motivation to and comfort with disclosing their social experiences and thoughts with each other and provide opportunities to seek and receive support.” Gossip isn’t necessarily negative, but even negative gossip was found to promote trust, leading to perceptions of greater emotional disclosure.
What it means: The report built on previous studies, but researchers say the methodology on this one used a naturalistic observation method common in psychological circles called an Electronically Activated Recorder, a device the National Institutes of Health says is designed to record brief snippets of a person’s life, creating acoustic data samples. The study dispelled several long-held myths, including that women engage in “tear-down” gossip more than men (they don’t). Other findings: More affluent people gossip as much as those in lower-income brackets and younger people (not surprisingly, considering the often-toxic influence of social media) engage in more negative gossip than older adults.
What happens next: Researchers say future efforts should explore causal mechanisms and more specific gossip characteristics that lead to a sense of well-being among couples, as “gossip may be a fruitful avenue to test as a communication strategy for improving well-being in romantic partnerships.” It may also act as a “social regulation tool” that helps create and maintain a positive relationship. As one of the study’s authors, UCR Psychology Professor Megan Robbins, puts it, gossip “may reinforce the perception that partners are ‘on the same team,’ enhancing feelings of connectedness, trust and other positive relationship qualities.”
